This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I just had sex on a roof
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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