How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
i would one night stand the shit outta him
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
