Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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