They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
He shit in the fireplace
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
