Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Randomize
