8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Randomize
