its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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