CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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