the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Randomize
