Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Randomize
