I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
