maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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