my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
so much tequila, so little girl.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
