hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
