We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize