Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
