It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize