mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
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