I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
