I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Randomize
