Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
