i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
COCAINE IS GR8
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
