this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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