We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
