Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
