sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
