don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
