Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Let's get the cat blown out
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Randomize
