Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize