Jerry, you need to find god
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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