Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
