whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
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