new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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