My hair reeks of homosexuality.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
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