and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
