i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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