But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
it's like iHOP with fire
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Randomize
