Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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