we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
