listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I would fuck him just for his dog
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
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