I could have mohawked her pubes.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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