i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
