you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
is it fun? or sober?
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
