Do vagina's smell?
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
