My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Randomize
