sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
