Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Randomize
