All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Randomize
