Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
