i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
