He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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