PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize
