I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize