I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize