i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize