girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Randomize
