So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
