He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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