I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
We're not piercing ourselves today.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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