4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Houston, we have a blender
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
