Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
