new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize
