Just fell off a train. Bad.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Randomize
